I have been thinking about how people react to situations lately. Questioning why they decide to take a certain point of view or make a specific choice.
Humans seem to inevitably assume we are correct in our position and decisions. We are also a naturally stubborn species.
Yes, of course there are those who manage to rise above the fray and give those of us who care something to aspire towards, but for the most part we all act the same. With different ethics or morals in play. Different history creating different decision matrices in our brains.
I know this, yet I still become apoplectic when dealing with some people and their inability to listen or behave in a manner I feel best. I’m not saying I’m always right but…sometimes I am.
Experience teaches us all and when people specifically ignore your experience in a certain arena it is disappointing and in some circumstances potentially ill-advised.
The proverbial they, say that we only get truly angry when our core beliefs are threatened. My core beliefs are very practical, logical and scientifically based but my reactions to a perceived threat are almost visceral.
Yes, I can rant with the best of them. Incoherently scream until I’m blue in the face knowing it will get me nowhere because changing other people’s minds is difficult or sometimes impossible.
My reactions at these times, ranting to those close to me about other people’s poor choices, is always interesting to me. I lose an ability to calm myself, eventually I will, once I’ve vented my frustrations. As soon as I am done though I always wonder why I can’t stay calm. I have that ability in my professional life. People can say the most inane things to me as clients and I will nod and smile to them. Sure, as soon as they leave I am ranting to my coworkers, but that client thinks I am a beacon of professional grace.
So why can’t I react the same way in non-client interactions?
Family ones for instance. Sure you’ll probably say, ‘Well, family is different’. Okay, I suppose I care less about what they think of me and perhaps I think it is more important for them to benefit from my experience. Still it is the place where I could most benefit from that calm professionalism and I know this. So why does my brain go all prehistoric rage monster when I need it to be an enlightened calm monk?
We are such a complicated species and the last few years have definitely shown us the best and worst we are all capable of.
I think perhaps we all need to work on using our professional demeanor more in order to temper our reactions. One day I’ll find my inner calm for all situations, I’m working on it but it takes time and more patience than I currently have in reserve.
PS: I still don’t get why people make irrational, illogical choices but at least ranting…er…writing about it here makes me feel a little better.