Waiting

No one loves waiting, for good things or bad news, expectation can be exciting or crippling. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for a phone call or text that the thing you knew was going to happen has happened. Knowing that getting that message means everything is about to be thrown into upheaval again – just when things were starting to feel a little more manageable. Waiting for the ground to fall out from under your feet when you were hoping for stability.

I’m waiting for bad news. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been outside the whole situation since the start and I don’t think I have the energy/ability to be in it now. At the end of it, but the start of the fallout. I just can’t and yet here I am waiting and wondering how or if I’ll get through. Can we magically jump forward in time? After I’ve figured out how to cope. To when everyone who is inevitably going to be depending on me is settled on the other side of this crisis.

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