Well, once again time has managed to just disappear. I was thinking ‘oh, I should write a post, it’s been a couple days’, then I checked and it’s actually been five days. I lost a whole work week.
Lost, isn’t the right word, I worked the whole work week, which is what you’re supposed to do during it. And yet, I really didn’t think five days had passed since I last wrote on here.
Tax season is definitely taking its toll, though it will really kick off when April rolls around, which given my sense of time lately will probably be in about five minutes.
I realize that I talk a lot about time these days. I’m sure my counselor would suggest that it is because I’ve had two big deaths in less than a year and that it makes you realize time is fleeting. (Madness takes its toll…(Rocky Horror reference, anyone)).
I don’t know if that is why I keep talking about it, or because me and everyone around me is getting older, or because I’m just tired, or because everyone is feeling the same way and there are tiny vibrations in the atmosphere that I’m tuning in to.
Either way, just like my lack of posts, it is unintentional.
This is not the start of a joke.
This is the sound that seems to be waking me from sleep, or dreams I guess, in a reoccurring and sporadic manner.
From a deep sleep I will suddenly be woken up as if someone has just knocked on something very near to me.
There is no one there.
Yet I distinctly heard a knocking.
The first few times freaked me out, I thought someone was at the door in the middle of the night. Now that it has happened a few times I seem to be realizing it is just my subconscious and I calmly try to fall back to sleep (once my heart rate returns to normal – it is still a sudden loud rapping noise.)
I’d love to know what it means is my subconscious trying to get my attention? If so why? Must it be so cryptic? That’s not helpful.
I’ve started to write down the date and time that I’m abruptly pulled from sleep, maybe there is a pattern I can find, but I need more data points first.
For now I’ll head to bed and hope for a quiet sleep without an urgent tap, tap, tap tapping in my brain.
I have a hard time putting music into categories unless it is obvious, and sometimes the best stuff isn’t just one category it is fusing different genres into something new and different, hence today’s edition title.
I’ve decided it’s okay if I don’t post every day. I am going to try but right now there is too much happening with work and life that I don’t want to feel bad for not being able to come up with content.
I feel like I should have things to say and I probably do except that my brain is so overtaxed (sorry for the pun), that I start over thinking and end up with writer’s block.
Until tax season is over I’m giving myself permission to maybe, or maybe not, post something daily. It can be a surprise to both of us if something manifests itself from the brain fog.
(Like this post about posting or not posting.😉)
I’m in accounting and by its nature you spend your time doing the same things at the same time every year.
There is both stability and irritation in this.
Stability because you know what’s coming and you know you’ve gotten through the hectic time before so this time shouldn’t be any different.
Irritation because it always seems exceedingly unfair when other things collide with the worst periods during the year.
Tax season for example, for January through June it would be lovely if every other catastrophe, expectation or really event of any kind would stay away.
This does not happen, inevitably you have tons of work to do and something falling apart somewhere else in your life. It is exhausting.
Right now I have too much happening while tax season is going on. House renos, rental renos, dealing with family members. If I had a social life it would be in flames.
I just need a little calm, I need the eye of the storm to cross overhead and provide a reprieve, a space to breathe.
Don’t trust the Bunny, look at that face! Clearly Bunny is hiding something. Those flowers are not organic & Bunny may try to stab you with a carrot when you aren’t looking!*
*yeah, I am crazy and it’s only Wednesday
- Extreme weather TV shows (documentary)
- Extreme weather movies
Started watching a TV show about extreme storm chasers, two hours past when I was going to head to bed and I’m still watching. Oh well, maybe if I stay up late enough I’ll be tired enough to sleep tonight. Instead of last night when I tossed for hours.
Today was a day that disappeared quickly but was irritating.
Or maybe I was just exhausted and in a bad mood.
I don’t think I was grumpy this morning but by the end of the day I was irritated by everything.
I have a lot of plates spinning and sometimes it feels like no one is helping me, instead they are trying to knock my plates down or toss new ones into the mix.
Tomorrow shall be better, I hope. 🤞
I spoke about regrets the other day, this song seems on topic.
I’d regret forgetting to post yesterday but going to bed early and sleeping late just shouldn’t be something anyone should regret, even if it meant breaking my daily posting habit – there was a posting of a cute puppy on IG though which you can also find on the main page here.