Ways To Keep Me Up Past Bedtime

  • Extreme weather TV shows (documentary)
  • Extreme weather movies

Started watching a TV show about extreme storm chasers, two hours past when I was going to head to bed and I’m still watching. Oh well, maybe if I stay up late enough I’ll be tired enough to sleep tonight. Instead of last night when I tossed for hours.

Grr…Arg…

Today was a day that disappeared quickly but was irritating.

Or maybe I was just exhausted and in a bad mood.

I don’t think I was grumpy this morning but by the end of the day I was irritated by everything.

I have a lot of plates spinning and sometimes it feels like no one is helping me, instead they are trying to knock my plates down or toss new ones into the mix.

Tomorrow shall be better, I hope. 🤞

Regrets

I don’t have many regrets and even of the ones I do I don’t wish I could go back in time to change them, except for one.

I wish I had paid more attention in grade 12. Not for the reasons you think though.

I really wish ‘we’ had chosen a better grad song, there is every chance we didn’t and some teacher was forced to make a last minute choice.

Trooper – We’re Here For A Good Time (Not A Long Time)

Because there is nothing a bunch of 17 year olds can relate to more than a song from 1977.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Canadian music and even like the song, but every time I hear it I think, ‘Why?!’.

There were so many great current songs when I graduated in…*cough cough cough*.

So yes, I would go back and maybe decide to show up for more than 20% of school days and maybe participate in the selection of the song that was supposed to send us off into the next phase of our lives.

But…that also sounds exhausting, so I’ll just keep on asking why and shaking my head every time I hear the song instead.

Things I Do Not Excel At

  • Remembering it is garbage day tomorrow and putting out said garbage before I leave for work*

*Do we think I’ll remember tomorrow?

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Categorized as Year 43 Tagged

Disappointing

I got to eat(chew?) some food, and as you may have guessed it was not as exciting as I would have wanted.

It wasn’t like I started with my favourite meal or anything, even choosing what I thought were bland foods, but I seem to be allergic to at least one of the things.

I assumed I would discover that a few of my favourite foods would cause issues (and some of my least favorite, which isn’t too bad), but to have it happen with the first food I ate was disappointing.

I’m still hoping I’ll find that some of the things I enjoy weren’t contributing to my issues, but clearly I have to start with an even simpler diet than I thought.

I’ll grab a latte with toast tomorrow morning (that is one of my favourites) and hope for the best .

One More Day

Until what you ask?

Until I can chew some food!

Sometimes I make decisions I question. For instance, I decided to use a juice cleanse as a precursor to an elimination diet.

I’ve learned things.

I like carbs and it’s more fun if you get to chew said carbs, say yummy bread.

I also learned that there are more fruits and vegetables that I’m allergic to than I first thought and I should avoid eating most vegetables raw.

Not new information exactly, but I went for a week without caffeine (not the first time) and didn’t care, though I remembered that I love coffee and black tea and should never be parted from them.

Also not new information, I hate dealing with food. Thinking about starting to add foods back into my diet one by one to determine if they make me feel gross, is stressing me out. I start over thinking it all. I much prefer if other people figure the whole meal thing out and I just get to eat. (Pretty sure the first thing I’d do if I was a incredibly wealthy would be to hire a personal chef).

Tomorrow is the last day of liquid only. I’m trying to determine how to go about introducing food again, because it is a slippery slope from ‘I’ll just grab my usual at the coffee shop’ to ‘screw it – better happy than grocery shopping – what’s on Skip The Dishes?’.

Plus there is the question of how my stomach will cope with food again after a week of only juice & smoothies. I’m hoping for the best, but it is all about the choices.

In reality I’d really love a pizza tomorrow for dinner but that might be too many food groups at once, so chicken/broccoli/rice will be the less decadent and practical choice.

I really am looking forward to substantial food again. My teeth just feel lazy right now. One more day though and I can eat some toast with tea. 🤤

Just five minutes…

We only woke up because her ride came to pick her up.

When a short nap turns into hours because one of you is exhausted from errands (plus a lack of carbs) and the other is exhausted from a stomach bug of some kind.

Is it time?

I will freely admit that I am not an overly optimistic person. Yes, deep down in the depths of my soul I hope the world will get its shit together, but overall I tend to see the darker side of things.

I just worry that our world has advanced too far in some ways and yet nowhere near far enough in others, which has led to these current times are dark days.

They are like the opening to a post apocalyptic novel. Brink of war! Pandemic! Climate crisis!

I keep waiting to see the news article explaining how massive bunkers have been built underground and everyone under 15 is going into them so that on the surface we can hit a massive rest button on the planet.

EMP, some terraforming and when the bunker opens to let them out they can all start again.

Of course we won’t provide them with any history of the world beyond a vague idea of ‘the older generations fucked up’. The older ones will remember some, but with any luck, after a couple years taking care of the younger ones underground they won’t recall too much detail.

I’m also open to plot lines involving massive asteroids or aliens who are just done with our shit. There will be no parallel worlds or time travel though, we know that just keeps making more issues.

For now I will be over here looking at cute animals and lovely landscape photography, while avoiding the terrifying news feeds. You know, while waiting for any ideas anyone might have on how to fix the world.

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Categorized as Year 43 Tagged

Green

Envy is a strange emotion. Like any emotion it can get you into trouble if you aren’t careful.

Some people live in the land of envy, I’m sure you’ve met one or two of these people before. They see everyone around them as a source of their deficiencies, almost as if they think everyone else’s existence is directed at them as an example of everything they are missing. Our culture seems to be pushing more people towards this type of thinking, consumerism and social media creating a feeling of lacking.

Most people only visit envy though, knowing that it isn’t healthy to dwell on things you don’t have. Either go out and get them or move on.

I’m often envious not of people’s material things but of their willpower or resilience. I can figure out a way to buy nice things, I can not figure out a way to convince myself I like exercising or eating tomatoes. Or those people that are happy regardless of the hundreds of ways you could explain to them why they shouldn’t because… everything!

Basically my envy is due to my laziness and pragmatism, but as I said it’s important to know when to move on. I’m never going to enjoy tomatoes or exercise, and no matter how much distance I put between myself and the news I’ll always know the world is a little too scary for me to be ignorantly happy.