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Grrr
This photo is like a visualization of my feelings this month. Vascilating between Grrr and Meh in equal measure. Work stresses, exhaustion and just some ennui have meant that for this month and most of the previous twelve or so (not sure how many but assume a lot) I’ve been generally ranty or miserable company.…
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July Is Over
I was dreading July this year. It would mark a year since my step-father’s death. I wasn’t sure how anyone would handle it. I knew there wouldn’t be a big fuss made but sometimes anniversaries can hit harder than you expect. Maybe it was because there always seemed to be some minor issue happening but…
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Grr…Arg…
Today was a day that disappeared quickly but was irritating. Or maybe I was just exhausted and in a bad mood. I don’t think I was grumpy this morning but by the end of the day I was irritated by everything. I have a lot of plates spinning and sometimes it feels like no one…
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Buzzing Brain
My head is noisy at the best of times. Work noise, life noise, worry noise, pointless noise. If I’m lucky I can quiet it down for a bit. Distract it with music, TV, a book, even an interesting file at work. If I’m not so lucky my brain starts swirling about from thought to thought.…
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Bed
Lately, when I crawl into bed at night I find myself thinking: Didn’t I just wake up? An entire workday has passed and I know I’m exhausted but still, it feels like I should be staying up longer as if there is more to do. It may be the lack of accomplishment I feel during…
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Weekends
I’ve always had my weekends to myself, able to spend them quietly doing nothing with no guilt or regret. I work all week, it seems only fair that the weekend is my time to fill as I choose. Lately that seems not to be the case. I feel like I don’t get to choose what…
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New Mechanisms
The past few years have been, well shitty, for many of us. One way or another the pandemic has affected our lives, added another layer of stress to what, for many, was already too much. I definitely have felt like more than one layer has been laid upon my life. Getting older comes with a…
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Intention
I woke up this morning, after a night of mostly restful sleep which is rare for me, and thought I would attempt an awkward conversation. I brought breakfast. I was calm. I had rehearsed want I wanted to say. Then my plans immediately got derailed. Which in turn had me becoming more and more hesitant…
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Little Things 2
Even though my job can be very stressful I’m grateful to have an awesome boss who always puts his employees first and strives to create an environment we are happy to work in. The top of our office philosophy is ‘Family First’, meaning never worry about missing work to deal with family emergencies or even…
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Black Hole
What do I want to write? Stress. I wish it was something I had more control over. I’ve said it before I obsess, which isn’t a great quality when you are under stress. It means you then obsess over all the things causing you stress. I would say that 75% of the time I deal…